Emotions in Motion

Lately, I keep reading about ways to allow time for “negative” emotions. No emotion is actually positive or negative but we try to avoid those feelings that are less welcome—like depression or anger or worry. It is easy to try to push these feelings away when we are feeling overwhelmed by them. But we know that avoiding them is not the answer. Dr. Carolyn Myss, in her book Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, suggests setting aside some time to immerse one’s self in the emotion for a few hours or even a full day.

Of course, there are legitimate times for these emotions to arise and saturate our daily experience. It is natural and necessary to grieve and feel depressed when experiencing a loss and only someone with an abundant savings account would not feel some stress and anxiety when faced with a lay off.

To be honest, there are simply time when it is perhaps best to sit with the sadness, the anger, the fear rather than avoid it. Interestingly, everything I’ve read cautioned against sinking into a pity party. In other words, while giving permission to feel whatever it is you need to feel, there is a warning to not allow one’s self to feel too much of anything.

I wonder if it would not be best to say it is okay. It is okay to be so consumed by grief that this is all you can feel. It is okay if you are scared for your future when struggling to make financial ends meet in the face of unemployment. And when these “negative” emotions have a hold then it is also okay to set aside time to feel something “positive.”

When immersed in worry, it is okay to make time to feel relaxed. Take a soothing bath. Meditate. Listen to soothing music. Give yourself a massage.

When immersed in anger, it is okay to make time to feel peaceful. Go outside for a relaxing walk. Breathe deeply and slowly. Sip a cup of herbal tea.

When immersed in grief, it is okay to make time to feel joy. Play with puppies or kittens. Dance wildly. Sing. Paint. Watch a funny movie.

All of these things have a natural time limit and when the time is up, if you still need to feel anxiety or rage or sorrow that is okay too.