Saturday, the second day of the conference, began with a glorious keynote speech by Margaret Edson. I felt even more remorse for my inability to stay to see her movie, Wit. (I later spoke with my mother and she had seen it in the theater. Said it was marvelous and that she would assume Edson is very intelligent. I said her speech was sharp and very interesting.)
I took notes wished I could write faster, that there were a video camera in the room, that I could capture her expressive face between the lines. This video is the closest I can come.
After the high of this keynote, I wondered if I would be able to focus well enough for Fran Dorf’s “Writing Fiction to Save My Life.” I had avoided reading her novel, which is about a mother whose son is in a coma, because I was already so immersed in sad books that another one seemed unnecessary. (Just this morning Rob said I had to stop reading sad books.)
She read a wonderful poem by Elaine Equi at one point and encouraged us to write one of our own. The title of the poem Things to Do in the Bible served as a launching pad and we naturally I wrote a list poem called Things to Do When You Lose Your Balance. But before we started writing, she showed a sort of cloud list of the things the people she worked with had written in response to this poem, drawing on their experiences with losing a child. One of the items “Hate everyone who hasn’t lost a child” was so cold in its honesty, so damned perfect, I felt breathless with wonder and admiration for every parent who has ever admitted to feeling hatred like this.
Dorf also led us through a dialogue and, still avoiding, I talked to God rather than my vertigo. It felt safer. I guess I’m still under the assumption God will forgive and I know my vertigo is unforgiving.
From there I moved to Emily Simerly’s “A Spirit Laid Down in Chapter.” She had set up the room with darkness, candles, and immediately the sense of moving beyond the conference sank in. It is no surprise that I started tapping into the darker things in this session. I had been spiraling towards them since the first session at the conference. Simerly read samples from essays written by herself and others. These were the starting points. After she read, we would write quietly, letting the pen flow.
I left the haven of her session having touched something deep and needing more of my time. Moving into Debbie McCullis’ session on “Writing and Poetry Therapy” which exacerbated the emotional situation for me. I simply could not dig deeper in that environment. I needed to go somewhere to write alone and at length to do the experiences and emotions justice. I followed her exercises but cut myself and them short. I had to. Had I continued writing, I would have likely started to cry and I didn’t want to distract or disrupt.
I’ve long known about poetry therapy (at least ten years now, maybe more) and sitting in on this session reinforced my belief that this is a wonderful means of offering healing. And what I began writing in this session, and some of the others, will be explored at more length going forward. I have the foundation for some brilliant journaling and perhaps even a poem or two.
Afterwards, there was a town hall meeting in which everyone who was still present discussed what they would like to see for next year’s conference. I’d personally like to see more people attend because it was a wonderful experience for me. I may have experienced some stirrings of emotional pain but it was more inspiring than anything else.
I am looking forward to 2009’s conference already.
I took notes wished I could write faster, that there were a video camera in the room, that I could capture her expressive face between the lines. This video is the closest I can come.
After the high of this keynote, I wondered if I would be able to focus well enough for Fran Dorf’s “Writing Fiction to Save My Life.” I had avoided reading her novel, which is about a mother whose son is in a coma, because I was already so immersed in sad books that another one seemed unnecessary. (Just this morning Rob said I had to stop reading sad books.)
She read a wonderful poem by Elaine Equi at one point and encouraged us to write one of our own. The title of the poem Things to Do in the Bible served as a launching pad and we naturally I wrote a list poem called Things to Do When You Lose Your Balance. But before we started writing, she showed a sort of cloud list of the things the people she worked with had written in response to this poem, drawing on their experiences with losing a child. One of the items “Hate everyone who hasn’t lost a child” was so cold in its honesty, so damned perfect, I felt breathless with wonder and admiration for every parent who has ever admitted to feeling hatred like this.
Dorf also led us through a dialogue and, still avoiding, I talked to God rather than my vertigo. It felt safer. I guess I’m still under the assumption God will forgive and I know my vertigo is unforgiving.
From there I moved to Emily Simerly’s “A Spirit Laid Down in Chapter.” She had set up the room with darkness, candles, and immediately the sense of moving beyond the conference sank in. It is no surprise that I started tapping into the darker things in this session. I had been spiraling towards them since the first session at the conference. Simerly read samples from essays written by herself and others. These were the starting points. After she read, we would write quietly, letting the pen flow.
I left the haven of her session having touched something deep and needing more of my time. Moving into Debbie McCullis’ session on “Writing and Poetry Therapy” which exacerbated the emotional situation for me. I simply could not dig deeper in that environment. I needed to go somewhere to write alone and at length to do the experiences and emotions justice. I followed her exercises but cut myself and them short. I had to. Had I continued writing, I would have likely started to cry and I didn’t want to distract or disrupt.
I’ve long known about poetry therapy (at least ten years now, maybe more) and sitting in on this session reinforced my belief that this is a wonderful means of offering healing. And what I began writing in this session, and some of the others, will be explored at more length going forward. I have the foundation for some brilliant journaling and perhaps even a poem or two.
Afterwards, there was a town hall meeting in which everyone who was still present discussed what they would like to see for next year’s conference. I’d personally like to see more people attend because it was a wonderful experience for me. I may have experienced some stirrings of emotional pain but it was more inspiring than anything else.
I am looking forward to 2009’s conference already.
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