Dr. James W. Pennebaker, in his book Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions, in the first chapter creates a framework listing the continuum between “inhibition” and “confrontation.”
Inhibition is physical work.
Inhibition affects short-term biological changes and long-term health.
Inhibition influences thinking abilities.
Confrontation reduces the effects of inhibition.
Confrontation forces a rethinking of events.
I feel comfortable and confident in saying that I am rarely guilty of being inhibited and I doubt anyone who has known me any length of time would agree that I am not one to avoid a confrontation. If this is true of my relationships with other people and how I communicate with them, it is all the more true of how I approach myself.
When I was in counseling towards the end of my marriage, my counselor marveled at how I would often walk away from a session in which she pushed me, one she thought would cause me to cancel our next appointment, and come back the following week having not only dealt with whatever issue she was pushing me to face but having gone even a few steps further. She would push me a little and I would push myself further and harder.
I never thought much about how this manifests itself in my relationships with other people, how my relationship with myself can be experienced beyond my self. There are certainly some curious implications implied. But that is not the scope of this journal. For now it is enough that I am exploring how I can continue to my commitment to confronting my experiences to best facilitate my own wellbeing.
If you want to read a sample from the book, you can go here. Pennebaker will be speaking at the conference.
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